Saturday, September 09, 2006

- on being violated -

fact - i am well-endowed. i am thankful for it in some ways but that's not to say that i never had any bad experience related to it ...

way back in college, one afternoon, i was walking along 11th avenue corner rizal avenue ... on my way to the lrt ... i stopped walking because somebody was blocking my way when a guy at my back said to me - "miss, ang laki ng boobs mo" ... i was stunned, surprised but i just shrugged my shoulders and laughed to myself ...

what i experienced today wasn't really a laughing matter ...

i went to the doctor today to have my chest - particularly the bones -checked ... i was having pains around that area - bearable but still uncomfortable especially when i'm tired and stressed ... lifting heavy objects has the same effect ... i was requested to get a chest xray and a lateral xray with focus on my sternum ... i was amazed that i'll get the result right away - almost real time ...

i went to the radiology department ... changed to the prescribed robe ... the radiologist was male ... almost the same age as i am, i think ... there was another male but i think he was just assisting ... when i was standing in front of the xray plate, the usual adjustments were made to my position ... just to make sure that i'm at the center of the plate ... nothing unusual ... 2 xrays were taken ... lateral was taken side-ways from my right ...

i went back to the doctor and waited ... i was told that i had to go back to the radiologist because the lateral xray was not clear ...

i went back to the radiology department ... changed into the robe again and notified the radiologist ... the assistant was not there this time ... i was asked where the pain was and i indicated it by pointing ... i was made to stand side-ways with my hands stretched above my head ... the radiologist started to arrange my position on the plate ... poking the painful area ... he even said sorry because i grimaced in pain ... and then he cupped my right breast and squeezed it ... i was surprised but i thought that it's a part of the procedure ... just to get the robe out of the way ... he went out of the xray room ... went back, fixed my position again ... and i was given another squeeze ... i thought, he's just making sure he'll get it right this time ... he went out and went back ... fixed my position but this time, he cupped by left breast and squeezed it ...

it was then that i felt violated ... it was so surreal - it's like watching it being done on somebody else ... i don't know how an xray of the sternum was supposed to be taken ... it was the first time that i had it so i don't know what's the right and the wrong way ... but cupping my left breast and squeezing it sounded an alarm on my head because it was not blocking the view of my sternum ... the picture was supposed to be taken from my right side ...

i can't remember anymore what happened after that ... i guess my position was again adjusted and then the xray was finally taken ... i left the radiology department confused ... thinking, "anu daw? anu'ng nangyari? have i just been harassed???" .... i was a little shaken and dazed ... i called jeni to tell her what happened and of course, she was furious ... fortunately, chireh who had her vaccination called, i told her what happened and she went to me and accompanied me until i got the result ... i started laughing at the experience ...

i'm fine ... no lesions in my bone ... i was given some medicines ... recommended to place a warm pack on the painful area and to avoid lifting heavy objects and putting stress on my chest ....

recalling now what happened (everything was a blur earlier), i'm still left feeling weird and confused ... i guess as chireh would put it, this is "one experience for the books"

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